


I hate u, I love u

by FxckitsNicola



Category: WWE, WWE fanfic, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Dean is confused, Heartache, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Break Up, Post The Shield break up, Reconciliation, Seth Is Sorry, So much angst, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 15:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11489520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FxckitsNicola/pseuds/FxckitsNicola
Summary: Deans thought progress after Raw 7/10/17Deans tried for the past year to get over Seth Rollins, once Seth comes out and saves Dean from The Miz, Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel how is Dean going to cope with his thoughts and feelings towards Seth?Will be updated weekly when theirs an interaction between Seth and Dean on Raw.Based off of the song I hate u, I love u by gnash





	I hate u, I love u

**Author's Note:**

> Italics is the thought running through Deans mind. I honestly don't know how I feel about this but after seeing what happened on raw, I tried to get a better grasp on how Dean would feel about everything that was happening. 
> 
> Tumblr: @reisabrisingr  
> Instagram: @Fxckitsnicola

Dean was in the locker room pacing back and forth, conflicted over what to do. He was watching the match with the other guys in the locker room. Where the hell was Roman? The other guys were just sitting watching as the whole thing unfolded in front of them as The Miz, Bo and Curtis started walking to the ring, none of them caring about what was unfolding. Dean was starting to regret what him, Roman and Seth had done to the rest of the guys when they were a part of The Shield, the only true friends that they had were each other and now Dean and Roman had Matt and Jeff but Seth had no one. He seen Miz, Bo and Curtis climb up onto the ring the same way that him, Roman and Seth had done. _Those fuckers._ He was already reliving things that he'd managed to lock up in his brain whilst he was on smack down. He knew it was a bad idea being drafted to raw, knowing that Seth would be there. He was ecstatic to be back with Roman, but Seth? No, that was too much for him to deal with. He looked back at the monitor and seen the three men climbing into the ring and start attacking Seth, The Miz probably had all of this planned out the sneaky little fucker. They used The Shield iconic three on one tactic against Seth. Before Dean had the chance to progress everything that was now going on he shouted,"Fucking scumbags!" He picked up the nearest steel chair and started running out of the locker room. _Get_ _to_ _Seth, he needs you_. Dean picked up his pace. _Get_ _there_ _before_ _it's_ _too_ _late_. He was getting weird looks from all of the crew and superstars that he was passing by. _They'll target his knee and he might not be able to recover this time_. Dean ran as fast as he could, the steel chair feeling like an uncomfortable weight in his hands.

 

Dean ran through gorilla position and straight to the ring, the roar of the crowd a blurred out background sound to everything else in his head. _He doesn't deserve you, he'll just throw it back in your face. Destroy him before he destroys you_. When he got into the ring he spotted the fear and disbeleif in Seth's face. _Probably thought no one would save him. Teaches him for being a scum bag_. His eyes met with Deans and Dean lost all control, the memories from June 2nd coming straight back to him. He seen Seth cowering beside the end of the ring and Bo running towards Dean. _Destroy him. No one touches your family, no ones allowed to hurt family except each other_. He hut Bo right in the stomach with the chair and when he bent over he brought the chair down against his back. Bo managed to slide out of the ring and he turned around to get Curtis but he was already making his way out of the ring. _Where the fuck is The Miz?! Fucking ass hole is going to get the worse of it_. He turned around and spotted Miz climbing into the ring. And he saw red, how dare he use The Shield and Seth to get to Dean? Every one who knew Dean knew never to ever mention four things to him unless they wanted an unstable Dean at breaking point on their hands, when he got like that it would only last a couple of days if he was with Roman, without Roman it could be weeks and with Seth in the same roster, no one ever went there, they knew better than to do that.

 

Those four things being his past, The Authority, The Shield and the main one being Seth 'fricken' Rollins. The first hit to Miz's back felt like a weight off of his shoulders, finally getting payback but his mind was playing different games on him. _Imagine how this felt to Seth whilst he done this to you and Roman, do you think he regretted the first hit as soon as it happened? Do you think he enjoyed watching your pain? He loved being at the top but you knew how lonely he felt every time you seen him._ He put all of his frustrations and anger into the next blow and he lost it, he just kept aiming for The Miz's back hitting him with all the pain he'd kept inside for the past year. Oh how hard it was being on Smack Down all by himself without having Roman there to sense when things were getting too much for him. That's why his brain shoved The Shield and Seth Rollins into a box at the back of his mind, but now it was open. As soon as he felt the chair hitting the mat he snapped out of his thoughts. _Seth? Where's Seth?_ He span in a circle and seen him sitting in a corner of the ring. _Good, he's still there. He's able to sit up_. He shook his head trying to rid himself of those thoughts.

 

He threw the chair to the mat and heard his theme song hit. He noticed the announcers getting up from their desk signalling that the cameras had stopped filming and the only people that would see what happened would be those in the arena and those obsessed with social media. _Check on Seth, make sure he's okay_. He shook his head once more trying to get back on a semi normal thought process. _Can't let them know you still care, you can still pass this off as payback on The Miz_. He got up on the turnbuckles and started shouting at The Miz. He felt the second rope pull down more, signalling that Seth was getting up. As soon as The Miz and his stupid followers had gotten through gorilla he sighed knowing that he was able to leave and walk up the ramp. He jumped down off of the turnbuckle and heard a broken voice, "Dean.." _don't look at him it'll make things worse._ He gulped and climbed down from the ring and started walking up to gorilla slow enough to ensure that The Miz and his stupid followers wouldn't be in sight when he got to gorilla.

 

Typical, Roman is standing there. _He probably done it to see what you'd do_. Dean stormed past him, not making eye contact, he heard footsteps behind him, "Dean.." _See what you've done now ambrose? He thinks you still care_. "Fuck off." _You do care about him don't you?_ He continued walking, he can't deal with this,not just now when his mind was being his worse enemy. He needed to be alone, needed a smoke more than anything else. He got to the locker room and slammed the door open causing it to hit off of the wall, if all eyes weren't going to be on him to begin with they were now.

 

He grabbed his bag and continued on his rampage to get the hell out of there, knowing if there was anything that he'd forgotten it'll be grabbed by Roman. He leaves out of the nearest exit and is glad that there's no one else outside. He sat down against the wall and lights up a cigarette, he manages to take a long draw out of the cigarette and feels the calmness slowly taking over. _What the hell are you going to do now? You're meant to hate him, he betrayed you_. He hears the door open beside him and someone walks in front of him and sits down beside him on the cold concrete, they light up their own cigarette. Dean doesn't bother looking at them, he knows who it is. Nobody else except them and R-truth smoke and Truth already left before the show finished. "What do you want Jeff?" Dean had became close to the younger Hardy after he returned at Wrestlemania. Dean had always looked up to him because he wasn't normal, wasn't like the other wrestlers, always throwing rational thoughts and behaviour out of the window as soon as he entered the ring. When Taker retired at Wrestlemania he made sure to introduce them to each other. All of the older superstars since Dean debuted in 2012 had told Dean how much him and Jeff were alike, they hadn't been wrong. Taker had told Dean that Jeff would look out for him, take over Takers role because someone had to do it that wasn't Roman. Dean needed someone like Jeff and The Undertaker they always seemed to know when to speak, what to say and not to push him. It wasn't that Roman didn't help, because he did, but he was always far too good and kind to Dean. He just cared too much for Dean that sometimes it'd make things worse. He also didn't understand sometimes what Dean was going through or feeling because he hasn't been through half the shit that Dean, Jeff and Taker had. Dean was happy that Romans only real pain he'd ever felt up until this year was the betrayal from Seth, Roman deserved happiness but when Matt had died Roman was a mess, the worse Dean and The USsos had ever seen him and Dean wished he could've helped him as much as Jimmy and Jey did, but he knew it was sometimes best to leave Roman with his family and just do small things for the Samoan, like just hold him at night or make him laugh. Just being there for Roman,and Roman appriciated it,always thanking Dean for being there every day since Matt had past. He was brought out of his thoughts by Jeff. "It's confusing isn't it?" Dean scoffed, "You don't know the half of it." Jeff kinda snickered,"Unfortunately I do." Dean furrowed his eyebrows, "Am I missing something important here?" Jeff took a draw of his cigarette,"How much of the WWE did you manage to watch when you were on the indies?" Dean thought for a moment,"Some bits here and there but once I made it in the indies it was hard to find time to watch it, considering I normally had matches whilst raw or smackdown was on." Jeff got up and grabbed his bag,"You rooming with anyone tonight?" Dean groaned,"Roman." Jeff handed his bag and rental keys over to Dean, "Black jeep in the far right corner. I'll sort it out, pass your keys to me." Dean stood up and handed the rental keys to Jeff. He trusted Jeff more than he should've considering it'd only been three months since they'd met, but he'd always heard such good things about Jeff throughout his indies and time in the WWE, everyone always speaking so fondly of the younger Hardy and Jeff had never showed him any different. They were a lot a like in the some ways, had the same interests, had a rough up bringing. Dean having to find a way to get money for him and his alcoholic mother. Jeff having to work on the family's tobacco farm with Matt whilst their dad was working constantly to get enough money for them to live after their mother had passed. They both fell into the world of drug abuse at a young age because of the career they'd chosen and their childhood demons. There was so much of Jeff that Dean didn't know about yet but he'd never push Jeff to tell him anything, just as Jeff does with him. Jeff came out and noticed Dean was still standing in the same spot. _Must think you're an idiot not moving and staying in the same place that he'd left you_.

 

Jeff just took his bag from him and started walking,"You wanna drive or will I?" Dean shrugged," 'Sup to you, you got pretty beat up tonight." Dean unlocked the car and started putting his bag in the trunk of the car. Jeff smirked,"Rock, Paper, scissors?" Dean laughed," What are we five?" Jeff smirked," 'fraid you're gonna loose Ambrose?" _He's such a fucking dork_. Dean smiled for the first time that night after his encounter with Seth. "You're on Hardy." It's like Jeff knew what he was planning in his head before he'd even made the move, best of three and Jeff beat him with every single move. Jeff jumped into the passenger seat and groaned. Dean got into the rental and started it up,"Whats up old man?" Jeff laughed,"Shut up, I'm only 39 you ass. But for real though, The Revival don't hold back in their spots." _Fucking assholes_. "You need me to stop anywhere before we get to the hotel?" Jeff grabbed his bagpack and leaned back in his seat,"Nah, got everything I need in my bag, learnt what's best to take with me after things went shit." They drove in silence, just appreciating each other's company.

 

When they get to the hotel Jeff stayed outside to speak to Beth on the phone, once Jeff got up to the room Dean was already showered and sitting on the bed with their take out prepared on the bed. Jeff grabbed one of the containers and sat on the other bed giving Dean his space. They sat in silence for a while, Jeff finished his food before he getting up and putting the rubbish in the bin, he grabbed his iPad out of his bag before he sat down beside Dean, he fumbled about on it for a bit skimming through the network to get to Wrestlemania 25 until he found the right part. "Watch this and I'll explain more afterwards." Jeff handed over the iPad and leaned against the head board. As Dean started to watch what was happening on the screen in front of him he felt Jeff stiffen up as Matts voice filled the room. "Finally, I no longer have to share the spotlight with my brother." Deans heart started to ache for Jeff, how could somebody who was your whole world be jealous of your achievements? "I've always been Jeff's big brother and since day one I've taken care of him both personally and professionally. And without me in Jeff's life to be his guiding light, Jeff Hardy won't be able to survive. You've been through a lot this year Jeff, you've been attacked in a stairwell. Your car was ran off the road. There was the accident with the pyro. But there was one day in particular that I will remember very strongly Jeff. You received a call from me and I said,'Jeff, your house in on fire.' And you asked me, 'What about my dog, what about Jack man? What about Jack.' And sometimes accidents turn into tragedies, I mean who could've done this to you Jeff? Maybe it was just one person." Dean sat and watched the promo in shock, they'd been through so much together. How could Matt ever do that to Jeff. "And I had to swallow the fact that my career has been mediocre whilst yours has sky rocketed to the top. I no longer consider you my partner and I no longer consider you my brother. The only person I care about is me." When it had gotten to the match, Dean locked the iPad and placed it on the bed before he looked at Jeff. He could see that Jeff was trying to play it cool but the pain was still there. _And you thought what Seth had done to you was bad, stop over reacting_. Dean let out a breath that he hadn't even realised that he was holding before he began speaking to Jeff "1. Are you alright man,after hearing all that shit again? 2. Remind me to punch Matt in the face for being a fucking dickbag. 3.How the hell did you ever forgive him for that shit man? That makes the shit Seth pulled on me look like it was nothing." Jeff let out a breath and sat up so he could give Dean his undivided attention. Jeff let out a breath he didn't even realise he was holding. " Still hurts even now, and that was 8 years ago. Please, I broke his hand I think I done enough damage. But the thoughts still there man, might take you up on that offer in the future though. And I haven't. I don't think I ever will forgive him for it. But he's my brother y'know? I hate the things he's done to me in the past, but he's also been there with me through the best times in my life and the worst." Jeff had began to chew on his bottom lip, something that Dean understood the feeling of. He knew Jeff was feeling anxious and hurt just by hearing those things again, but Dean knew that Jeff was somewhat over what had happened before he was willing to talk about it to Dean. "I know he regrets that shit so fucking much, he still apologises about it to this day. He hates himself for it. I know he's not that Matt anymore, but he's also not the Matt he was before all that shit. He's a different person now, kinda broken by all the damage he had done to me. Y'know what I mean?" Jeff raised his eyebrows and Dean thought about it, memories had started to run through his head. The look of disappointment on Seths face when Dean shot him down about there not being a Shield reunion and saying that he didn't trust him. Not anymore. The look of happiness but doubt when Dean ran into the ring to save him. The sound of his voice after Raw, completely torn and broken saying Deans name. _You still love him, you can't hide it anymore. You still care about him_. Dean started fidgeting,tapping his fingers against his chest, focusing on that instead of the voices. "Yeah.. kinda like Seth with his Redesign. Rebuild. Reclaim. Shit." Jeff sighed and lifted up his head. " All I seen for the longest time when it came to Matt was redness,anger and hatred and then I'd get so confused because every time I fought him, I felt guilty as shit and it'd take me hours to sleep, sometimes I couldn't even do that. I fucking missed him so much and tried to move on but I couldn't. I'd spent my whole life with him, it was always Matt and Jeff, the hardy boyz. Then I realised I didn't hate him, I still loved him. I just hated his actions. Then he was there for me after I left the WWE and got caught with drugs. I was meant to come back after a few months in 09, but I couldn't because of my probation. I was in jail, had one phone call and I had my dad and Beth but I needed Matt. I phoned him and as soon as I heard his voice on the other line I couldn't speak I just broke down. Fucking 31 years old, crying my eyes out in a cell. Had to give the phone to the officer. We lived about an hour from the station and he was there within 20 minutes, paid my bail and as soon as we got outside he hugged me and started crying, blamed it all on himself. Said it was his fault. Not taking care of me, not protecting me, hurting me and he promised he'd never do that again. That he'd always be there for me, he gave up his job in the WWE just to be with me and followed me to TNA. Was with me when I finally went to rehab. When my girls were born and so much more. What I'm saying is, it's okay to be confused Dean. It's alright to still love Seth and care about him because he's your brother. Just, hear him out okay? All it took was one phone call from me to fix things with Matt and I didn't think he'd ever like me again. But it's obvious that Seth still cares about you."

 

Dean laid back on the bed,he stared at the ceiling feeling the hotness of tears filling his eyes and he tried to blink them away. "I ju- I just, how am I going to cope if he does it again? It almost killed me the first time I can't do it again." Jeff got off of the bed and turned off the light and got into the other one. "You're just going to have to take each day as it comes Dean. I can't tell you what to do, but if he does, me, Rome and Matt will all be there to defend you." Dean pressed his hands against his eyes trying to stop the tears from falling but he knew that it wasn't going to work this time. _Do you miss me like I miss you? Fucked around and got attached to you. Friends can break your heart too. And I'm always tired but never of you_. Dean let out a sob,he tried so hard not to cry anymore, especially with Jeff in the bed next to him but it was so hard not to. _And I'm always tired but never of you. If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit_. He laid there in bed a complete mess and just let the tears fall. It was a while later before he heard the bedroom door opening and shutting, he heard a couple of voices but wasn't aware of what was being said and heard suitcases moving. He felt an obvious weight getting in the bed beside him, a familiar scent filled his airways, he sat up straight away trying to get out of the bed but he felt the familiar arms grab onto his waist, "It's alright Uce, it's just me and you. I'm here. No need to hide anymore,I'm here." As so as Dean heard Roman's voice breaking the silence of the room he broke down and fell against Roman, he clung to him for dear life,as if letting go of Roman meant that he'd disappear and leave Dean as well. "Why-why does it h-hurt so much ro? Why won't it stop?" He let the press yard of the past year of keeping everything bottled up and being away from Roman out. Roman had one hand holding Deans head against his chest and the other arm was wrapped around Dean rubbing up and down his back. "It's alright babe, I'm here. I'm not leaving you,never will. I'll try and fix this uce. I promise. You're going to be okay." _He's lying, no one will be able to fix what's been broken._ Dean had began to fall asleep, all of the stress from the past 6 hours getting the best of him. He felt Roman placing a kiss against his head before whispering,"Me and you Uce, against the world. I love yah, alright?" Dean couldn't help but smile, it was always comical that someone as big as Roman was one of the softest and caring person Dean had known, Dean whispered against Roman chest. "Always will be Ro, and love yah too brotha." They both feel asleep, just holding onto each other. They didn't do it very often but sometimes, it was the only thing that they needed. 


End file.
